Talks resumed

The discussion resumed over the weekend and I feel emotionally 'opressed' by the outcome of our talks. I don't even know where to start but let me say this, I am not a happy camper with the situation as is.

I was aware going into marriage that it wasn't going to be all sunshine and roses. We took a vow to love and stand by each other because that is what you do. You are there for each other during the good, the bad and the ugly times. Only I can't decide if right now we have bad or ugly times. I tend to think the latter, given the emotional roller coaster ride I have been on lately. It makes me doubt my love, makes me doubt the feelings I have for this man that is my husband. And really? I hate to feel that way. The question remains if I can mend my feelings or if this is indeed the beginning of the end.

That being said, here is the 411 on what went down.

- his argumentation was that men are attracted to females
- it is a game for him, the chase, the excitement, the affirmation of his masculinity
- he loves me and doesn't want to lose me but he wants the sensation or thrill of something new
- he would love for me to be involved

- me? I was just so shocked I hardly got in a word and we left it at that. We did however do something that I will post more about later on during the week. Something we both could agree on. Something that was equally appalling as it was exciting.

Threesome fears

Well isn't it funny. I come here and move into my lush pink apartment in 'Casa de Constance' and what do I do? I stop blogging. Nevertheless there are things on my mind that need to come out. Things I have been thinking about a lot lately.

See, we haven't been married for too long and things were going alright. We were busy building the life we had imagined for us. Sure, after a while you get into a daily routine but that is what I imagined married life to be like. Yeah well, this is not how that panned out.

Now the husband wants to spice up things in the bedroom. Too bad that what excites him doesn't excite me. The majority of men it seems would fancy a threesome and I am by no means prude but the other day I heard someone say that if you are in love, you have no desire to be with anyone else. So far this has been my belief as well. My other half however has no qualms about it. He's been pushing me into this direction and I am not sure if I like it. I think too many things would change.

The odd thing is, that as a fantasy the threesome is something that is on my mind a lot. And by that I mean A LOT! And we have been experimental before but I will be darned if this may not be the beginning of the end of our marriage.

I need advice. Lots of it and I need it now. Have you ever been in this position. Has it come up in your marriage and what did you do?